The Books in Our House: February

I’m a fierce lover of the library. I can’t help myself. Maybe it’s because I remember our family filing out of our light blue Dodge Caravan, all of us headed towards the library to check out our books. I think that when I was about 11 or 12, I remember being limited to 10 books per checkout, and I’d read every one them before the due date. Judy Blume, Christopher Pike, my old favourite — L.M. Montgomery — I just couldn’t get enough.

I make a point of going to the library with the girls quite often. Do they adore the books in the way that I remember? Not always. Sometimes a book will hold a special place in Lila’s heart for the two weeks that it lives in our house, but mostly, the girls get the most fun out of actually going to the library. They admire colorful cover illustrations or flip through the books left out on the table. It also doesn’t help that our library is home to a large fire truck play structure. Lucy often spends our entire libary visit “driving” the fire truck and hollering, “Mom! Mom! See me! See me drive!”

I often respond with, “SHHHHH!!! This is a library! You must be quieter! Why on earth did they put a fire truck in a library, good god?!?!”

The trouble is, when the kids pick the books, you don’t always know what you’re bringing home. Case in point: one of Lila’s favourite bedtime stories is entitled “Cinderella Plans Her Wedding”. Now, as a former bride-to-be who enjoyed hyper-planning her own wedding, I can appreciate why an author would think that this would be a story worth writing. But for a preschooler? I don’t know. Cinderella gets overwhelmed by all of the decisions and the pressure from her palace advisor, and she ends up making decisions that she doesn’t agree with. In the end, she learns to communicate her wants and picks the simple white dress that we recognize from the movie’s final scene. The prince’s character seems to be not much more than a dark haired mannequin who only appears just as Cinderella is about to walk down the aisle. There is more complexity in Cindy’s relationships with her mouse friends than with her future husband. So yeah… I have a few issues with that story.

(I know, I know… am I about to light my bra on fire? I’ll give it a rest now.)

A book that we have added to our home library, and is in heavy rotation for Lila’s bedtime stories, is Scaredy Squirrel by Melanie Watt.

The book is written in a very non-traditional style. Pictures and words are all over the page, much like a graphic novel or a comic book. Scaredy Squirrel is an agoraphobic squirrel who spends his entire day doing the same thing, day after day, while clutching his emergency kit. Of course, he grows as a little squirrel and his character develops accordingly.

Lila has memorized the symbols on the pages, and will quite often take over “reading” the book. Using the different illustrations as a guide, she can read [ad lib] over 50% of the book by herself. I can hear the pride in her voice when she narrates the tale.

What’s even better is that I actually enjoy the book. Don’t get me wrong, there is some – very small – enjoyment in reading Berenstein Bears Forget Their Manners for the twentieth time, but when a kids’ book actually entertains me, then I have to put my Stamp of Awesome on it.

When I’m not reading books with only three sentences per page, I have been reading actual grown-up books that don’t have titles like “How to Get Your Baby to Sleep”. Recently, I’ve been reading a book called “Quiet” by Susan Cain.

The subtitle of Quiet is “The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”. I wasn’t attracted to the book initially, but because I’m the proud addict owner of a Kindle, I am always drawn to books that I can take out as an ebook from the library. Having sat down and dug into the book’s pages, I’ve been surprised at how relevant it is to our life. Some of Cain’s observations are really amazing. She talks about how our culture has changed from a “Culture of Character” to a “Culture of Personality”. Essentially, your worth as a person only a century ago was judged on being “serious, disciplined and honorable”. Now, our culture has become attached to ideal of a gregarious, outspoken extrovert. Your values and morals do not hold the same weight as your “personality” does. She even goes so far as to say that people who are introverts (people who need time alone to recharge) have been imitating and demonstrating extroverted personality traits so that they are able to compete in this new culture.

Is this a lighthearted read for the beach? No, probably not. But sometimes, when I look over at Lila — thoughtful, observant, and shy Lila — I think about what I sometimes ask of her. I am social; I probably fit into the mold of an extrovert and I like to be with people. I feel energized after social events. I seek out new friendships and enjoy planning events. Because of this, I don’t know if Lila and I are cut from the exact-same cloth.

As I read this book, I think, “Well yeah, who cares if Lila doesn’t want to play with every kid in the play group?” and “It’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t want to perform in the Party Day in her preschool.” It doesn’t mean that she will be a poor leader, or lack charisma, or be unable to be a dynamic force in her life. However, I feel like I have to do a lot of explaining for her, when really, I shouldn’t. We, as a culture, don’t value the quiet and thoughtful, and especially not the shy. We don’t understand why a child wouldn’t enjoy singing her preschool songs in front of an audience of thirty moms, dads, grandmas and grandpas. Instead, we try to strategize how to fit her into that extroverted mold. Can we bribe her? Can we train her?

Maybe she just isn’t that kid. Maybe I should be celebrating her strengths instead of sighing over her nervousness. I’ve been given a lot of food for thought. I’m looking forward to finishing this book. It was not an intentional selection, but it was a good choice overall.

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I am always looking for good books for the kids and me to read, and I’ll share the ones that I really love on here. I know that I sometimes resort to surfing the Editor’s Picks on the Chapters site, or aimlessly traveling on GoodReads, so if there’s a book you think we will like, please let me know! Comment or email, and thank you! My extroverted brain will love it!

4 comments

ABOUT AUTHOR

Tara

Will You Be My Valentine?

Homemade Granola Bars That Don't Taste Like The Forest Floor!

February 3, 2013

Mary Stark

It seems like the book you are reading about Quiet found you at just the right time.

February 3, 2013

Tara

I agree. 🙂

February 4, 2013

Milnes on the Move

Have you read Diana Gabaldon? I’m sure I’ve stuffed her down your throat but just in case I wasn’t forceful enough.

Are we still going to have things to talk about on the phone if I keep yammering on here?

- February 4, 2013
  
  Tara
  
  I’m sure you’ve mentioned her, but I didn’t remember. I can be a spaz like that. I will go right to the library webpage and put a hold on one of her books.
  
  I’m sure we’ll still have stuff to talk about. Here’s something: my dog has started peeing on the patio, just like, “Tra-la-laa… I feel like peeing on pavement right now and probably getting it on my feet. I am smart.”
  Let’s talk about how totally annoying that’s going to be when the weather warms up and we start going outside again. Good grief! 🙁